(Ogallala by Natti, li sirena traditional Sephardic kantika)

Si la mar era de leche,

Los barkitos de kanela,

Yo me manchariya entera,

Par salvar la mi bandiera.

En la mar hay una torre
en la torre una ventana
en la ventana una hija 
ke a los marineros yaman

en la ventana hay una polomba

Ke a los marineros yaman

Dame la mano tu palomba para subir a tu nido,

Maldicha ke durmes sola,

Vengo a durmir kon tigo.

Down by the watering hole in Ogallala

A train rumbles clumsily by
My eyes fixed on the reservoir that I can't follow
The orange line has been drawn
The pots and pans won't wash themselves

I've travelled thousands of miles just to feel the heat you radiate
The last birds are flying south now from cold Ohio
If only I could sleep in the snow to know how warm my heart is

There is someone for me
And if it's thee, crawl across the prairie
I'll be here

I want you to know me

I don’t know where to begin

Should I begin with the past?

Should I begin with my dreams?

Should I begin with just here and now,
being pleased?

I want you to know me

(at least try and let you know me)

I want you to know me

It’s time somebody knew me.

These days, not a single movie speaks to me:

just cells running through me like a roomy breeze

And is it wrong that I want you to redeem me

when I can’t seem to find it in me to redeem me?

Judge harshly if you want,

just love me afterwards.

When you’re out of words and when I’m overworked,

I want you to know me

better than I let him know me

I want you to know me

you’re so moody in the morning

you’re such a cutie in the morning

I think about my ex a lot more than I want to 

(technically not ready to love you;

medically I need to)

I give my self a lot more shit than I ought to -

I’m technically not ready to love you;

medically I need to.

If you see me with you,

then I see me with you.

It’s just that simple

You seem to know yourself so goddamn well

I want to know you better than you even know

yourself

Hell, sometimes I think I know myself so well

and then all of a sudden I’m falling and bruising my

fontanelle, I

want you to know me:

the armor and the edges,

like you’re the homie.

I want you to know me

because I think that you might get it

I want you to know me

when I remember that we’re dying

and I remember that we’re lonely.

I want you to know me

Did you always see it in me?

I think it went above me…

I want you to know me

before everyone thinks that they know me

and it’s nobody’s business, but

I want you to know me

First off, I’m up sitting and singing, so you’re already winning

Are you loving the breeze on the beach with your mates when the sea sprays your face

I could have used a little of that H2O in my neighborhood just now

nbd: the building down the block just dead-ass burnt down to the ground

I might do, too

Got to stay cool

I give up, I love you

Whatever you decide to do is cool

But I love you

As dumb as it might look (and I know it does)

I love you

As early as it is - true, it’s too soon 

I love you

Secondly, you haven’t texted for hours so you’ve got all the power

A minute feels like a week

And my black keys are cherries, - unlike you and me - that won’t bruise or go out of season

If it turns out you were only true in June but you lie in July, we can both still eat em

(though I’ll hope you choke on them for a moment, I’ll get over it)

Not doing my best

Keeping cards to chest

I know it hurts

But you know what’s worse

Lastly, I’m up sitting and singing, so I’m already sinning

Are you loving the breeze on the beach with your mates when the sea sprays your face?

hat? thought you’d pull me like a stunt?

Betcha thought you'd won a sacrificial lover

Well bravo, you almost had me for a moment there

We all know you're a star: it looks like you're alive from afar

you had a nice combustion, you got a certain something

you got the right curves, the right lines, Oo and I was into it alright.

I'll admit that when you smiled there was sunlight

but when I took a look inside you were airtight, it was airtight

nothing in there

it's a shame, such a shame that you gotta be 

so goddamn into the games

i'm not being judgey or butt-hurt when I say

I'm hip to you, hip to your                                                           

conquest complex ~ oh, you got me feeling all over the place!                                    

I'm not trying to learn you or burn you in my 

brain

but I'm hip to you

just know I'm hip to you

oh I'm hip to you, trick

oh you're a good time, as long as no one anticipates the punchline

I’ve got some personal faves like when you’d switch and bait it

or play find the lady 

or when you shove 'em in the deep end and then obliterate the evidence

oh you'll make it big for sure … up until you’re  34

you'll be a bored divorcee

I'll play in Musee d'Orsay

with my big heart and my big &$@!

that couldn’t heal you, though I tried

I blew my load on you for nothing, gezundheit.

I won't recall you but this song is a highlight

so I like what we did there...

I was in it, on it, all over it, up for it, down with it...

you were in it, on it, all over it, up for it, down with it

every direction in regards to it

I’ll tell you what I legally can:

I got to his apartment early

It wasn’t like me at all 

He said « are you thirsty? »

Inside I’m like “why wouldn’t I be?

It’s fucking 2am on a Tuesday”

thank god I said “I’m good”

11 floors up from the lobby first door on the left 

But he leaned right

How was I to know from just a DL hookup 

profile?

Boys like you and I know our way around a closet

We got discreet secretions secretly stored 

deep in our sacrums

We’ve seen shame disintegrate condoms

We’ve seen parents try to murder their 

children

So who was I to judge

When I found out what he’d done?

Oh, the things we do, boys? that stay in each other’s apartments

Boys, boys, boys, boys!

Oh, the things we do that we think stay in each other’s apartments

Just let you know the war ain’t been won yet

It's not a question of lacking literacy,

cause I've been at the books since I was 3;

It's not a telltale sign of near despondency -

cause (at least for now) love, you're the only one for me.

I just don't know how to put us, darling

You called us 'partners' but I found that word alarming

You tried on 'lovers' but that word unnerved my parents

So to spare us the embarrassment, I wrote a little chorus with the help of the thesaurus:

THESAURUS CHORUS:

How-a how-about 'paramour'?

That's overwrought, for sure!

'Significant other'?

O brother, way to excise all the fun

from this flame--

No, 'flame' is too ephemeral!

'Mate' is zoological,

'Sweetheart' is a confection,

'Better half' is a deflection,

And 'main squeeze' reeks of sleaze

We trick ourselves into thinking that we have a way with words

When words just really have their way with us!

Quoth Juliet to justify her transgression:

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet"

Though, one must admit, dear, it is not quite as sweet when

you refer to me as 'the guy with whom {you} sleep'

I just don't know how to put us, honey

You called us 'consorts' but that sounds like it's for money

We tried on 'spouse' which makes us sound like we are Amish

I can't promise that we'll spot a single perfect title for us in the depths of the thesaurus

THESAURUS CHORUS

Lately I've been swimmin' in

Antonyms and synonyms

Seems there's no definin'

This relationship that I am in

I've even resorted to acronyms!

Like FWB (friends with benefits)? Too desperate for even me.

LTR (long-term relationship) & LDR (long-distance relationship)? Too much work, by far.

How about P.W.A.P.F.O.E., People Who Are Particularly Fond of Each other ?

And that spells:

Pwapfoe!

Pwapfoe!

Pwapfoe!

Rolls right off the tongue!

I don't know...

THESAURUS CHORUS

Hey, been a long time since I’ve seen your

Face. I was just about to ask

“How have you been,” but before I could, you jumped

In, with a “where are you living these

days?” Said I’m 1 block away from

The J, couple stops past the Williamsburg bridge

from Manhattan, and you said

Don’t you find it odd

That we all move to Brooklyn

That we all move to Brooklyn

We all move to Brooklyn in the end

Hey, this apple’s been had by

worms. It doesn’t look all that tasty now

So you could say that this was my choice, but I’ll have you

know: it’s not cause the rents were high (They’re actually higher here)

I pay for the distance from the advertisements

And you said

D’you think that when we die

Our souls move to Brooklyn?

That our souls fly to Brooklyn

That we all move to Brooklyn when we die

Plus, I heard your mom

She too moved to Brooklyn

And the word on the street is

Wall Street’s moving to Brooklyn, too

Why? Cause we all move to Brooklyn.

The florist is bringing bouquets again

which smell like the plastic they’re in-

dew-dropped, clean-cut and immaculate,

and once they wilt we’ll have more.

Farewell, one-time troops!

We has a little fun; now it’s done

There’s your spot by the compost heap

on these beds of filth, what beauty can there be?

Here’s dirt - a simple little thing yet so rich

within: exoskeletons of the ones we’ve loved,

Tangles of roots underground,

Real things bloom.

Let bloom

The gardener’s weeding out back again,

Pauses to breathe in the buds

they go down much better than their packaging

and once wilted, reborn

Veterans, fare thee well!

You had a little scare in the frost and the heat

But you’re still here

on these beds of filth, what beauty there can be.

the Ones we’ve loved,

tangles of roots underground

real things bloom

Let bloom

when I was 14, a psychic said

‘girl you’ll never learn the power of your thighs’

but I got wise to my divine

everybody wants IT         

and no one really knows what they want

they treat it like a drug, treat it like a crutch

but I’m not your doctor or your dealer

I want to be the one who lifts you up again

I only need, I only need to be awo-a-woken up...

HEY LO. HEY LO!

hey LO HA HO, LO HA HO HO

(never have I ever ...  ever had a lover) x2

Just because you moan and groan

Doesn’t mean that you’re in the zone  

I can show you how to whisper in a crowd 

and hit it home like a megaphone

I feel it in the wind, I

see you in the courtyard

so you got a few strangers’ numbers

but have you really ever had a lover?

I want to be the one who lifts you up again

I only need, I only need to be awo-a-woken up...

I got a moon in virgo

Don’t want to talk about it anymore

I got a moon in virgo

Don’t wanna, don’t wanna

run from this dance…   run from this dance

I just want to lift you up

Lemme lift up

I’m falling in love with intangible things

Notes like cardamom bulbs, hot and cloying                          

Why’d I feel it if I wasn’t even on your flight?

What do you think you can get from me in 

just one night?

Soft skin, beautiful muse

Why does that make me 

always wish

that I had a pen in hand?

You’re in it for the warm chords

I just happen to be here, human, breathing

Let it all fall away

I’m already gone 

You scrub me clean

Make me real again

I pretended to be a whore

Pretended to be a lord

One thing’s for sure

I’m not pretending anymore

My heart leaps (is it at the expense of me)

at your shades of green (lawful like the horse of the sea)

What if my name’s wrong?                                        

Can you forgive me for having a weird name?

Thanks, now I’m stuck like you

Swaying like a metronome 

Pause in my throat 

Cactus in my—-

Cactus in my—-

God wants a tree

God wants me

... do you?

I wish I could tell you how I feel

It’s my literal job to tell you how I feel

It’s your literal job to be cagey

And not rock the boat

Where’s the pulse?

Are we making it up as we go along      

Making it up as we call on our Gods

Sea, I want to sing out to ya

Make love to ya

Hop on it

Ship out on it

Would it just crash and burn

I want to be the boatload

I want to be the buttload of love

I don’t want to be the symptom

I don’t want to be the cause

I just want to be the light            

that you wake up to when all hope seems lost 

I love the way the third camera zooms in on you

I resent the way the drones are moving in on me

Simple and true

I rock my boat on you

Flooding you through the windows of me

Come on little love

Make me break for you

Come on little love 

Make me break, make me split

Can you love me

I can’t pick up any more shifts

I swear

Can you cover me  

I don’t want to love myself anymore

I’m so tired of it

Don’t leave me hanging

Don’t leave me in a bind

Give me a crack through the middle

Give me a cry from the steerage

Give me some strings                                                              

Give me a hinge, some glue and a vase

I’ll make you an impossible bottle    

Now focus on me

You say you want it

Are you sure want it               

We’ve been circling on it        

Is it bionic, probiotic, are we symbiotic?

You say you want it

Are you sure you want it

If he leaves me haunted

is it good for optics?

Hashtag problematic 

With his blonde hair and his blue eyes and his blue blue blood, blue blue balls

From the southern American revolution straight down to 

Natti Vogel

Can he even pronounce it?   

Is it unpatriotic?

Are we bionic, probiotic are we symbiotic?

Is he sure he wants it

When he says he wants it

Oh he’s sure he wants it

Or is he a frail fey fairweather fairy afraid of                          

introducing me to the fam

Me and my empty wallets

And my million songs

Though I dropped every dollar on him

I love him and I am sorry bout it

The way he moving is mad avoidant

It keeps me jizzing

Sorry about it

Sorry for living                          

For wanting the whole thing

The whole damn thing

I want you to want to know who I slept with

In October of 2016

I wanna be your man (x3)

I wanna be your——

We don’t need to promise anything 

Feel like you’d promise anything      

I don’t just promise anything                              

Go ahead, go ahead promise anything           

When we first met backstage and kissed in 

the streetlights                                   

We were promised everything                                                       

And we promised to topple the fascists       

Is it so hard? Is it so hard to know what’s in           

your heart for a moment                               

and you were so hard

You got so hard for a moment

I don’t understand 

why you’re following me

Why are you hollering at me  

Why are you bothering me

If you don’t want to be my man

no matter the outcome or the premise or the confines

I just want to be with you 

Every outpost, every flood line, every 

birdsong cries                                     

I just want to be with you  

 We don’t need to promise anything 

I just want to be with you

I keep obsessing over that picture of you with                                  

your arm around Tommy                                                 

You haven’t really kissed me or held me for 

weeks

So how could you fault me?

No one ever got a shot of us looking like

that                                       

And now never will, prolly                                   

I never wanted to be anything other than me

But now I wanna have been Tommy

I know my parents would prefer you to me

And yeah I’m sure they’d love Tommy

But I guess he was a stable full-time job

And I was your hobby

Boys like you two play your cards close and I fold
like origami

I never wanted to be anything other than me

But now I want to have been Tommy

You only ever picked at me for a spell 

But you tucked in for Tommy

If you wanted to keep me only to starve me, shoulda just told me

Cuz I kept tenderizing and seasoning as you looked on coldly 

I never wanted to be anything other than me but now I want to have been Tommy

Yeah I woulda let you lick the bowl clean

If you just saw me

And though you prolly never will , I wanna 

know: did you ever see Tommy?

With his Rosy apple cheeks propped up by the smile of a puppy

Yeah I was down to give up every freedom I had for you to still love me

I know he wasn’t perfect , in the end you said 

that he was too crunchy

I see you rolling your eyes and telling your 

friends that I was too soggy

Say my name say my name 

I know it’s harder on the tongue than Tommy

I never wanted to be anything other than me                                                    

but now I want to have been Tommy

Now I gotta live the rest of my damn life 

knowing I wanted to be anything other than 

me 

How’m I gonna live the rest of my whole life 

knowing I wanted to be anything other than 

me

All the music in the world couldn’t beat the joy of having been 

What a marvelous soirée, never seen a scene quite so scenic

We’re the life of the party, you & I, they say, like they mean it

But if they wanted to connect, if they wanted to inspect, then they’d do it

Instead of trying to convince us that they’re fabulous, we’re fabulous

It’s all just sticking to my tongue, sticking to my mouth, man

Gotta get it out before I choke

I don’t wanna find the one, that’s just an

Idiot fantasy that we’re waiting on, again, no

I don’t wanna find the one. Isn’t love enough? I don’t wanna find the one.

I’ll admit that when I met you, I bet you would get to become a habit

We liked lining up the white dots, getting into tight spots and wreaking havoc

Now you hate to be alone, hate the sound of my phone whenever it’s ringing

Oh, you know it’s not love when they reach out to touch you and you fidget

Is this the end-game of romance, man?

Making endless plans, well, plan it if  you can but leave me out…

I get so much better when you don’t put pressure on me

And don’t expect me to be everything at once, yeah

Love gets so much better when you don’t put pressure on it

And don’t expect it to be everything at once, but

It’s such a gift to give it, to take it, to make it

I wouldn’t trade it for a ring, a ring to rule your heart…

I wake up early in the void

Feeling almost pure

I have to wonder is it time for desire

I cut my knee on the bed corner

Can hardly sleep for the cold air

Man, have I waited long enough

For my sire?

Show me where he is, my love

Show him where I am, his love

Oo my body melted when he held me

I had to leave for some unseen desire 

I tried to stay

Happy in the shire 

But I wake up missing home

I feel him in me

I wake up missing him

I left my home for desire

Now I can’t go back

Desire can’t go back 

I know love won’t leave me cold

I know love won’t let me down

I wake up missing home

I feel him in me

I know his love won’t leave me cold

his love won’t let me down

I wake up missing him

‘Cause I left my home for 

Desire

Imagine a different life

A different life: imagine

Wedding bells 

And a quarterly stride

Imagine a different life

So far, so SoCal; so long, sosoHo

Give me some time to reply

Give me a moment to think

Heartbroken when you could find me in circles on F trains going up and down the same loop

Whatever that means I’m all good

Chilling in his pool

Whatever that means I’m all good

Rump-shaking on the 7th floor penthouse when my chest lights up and the crowd goes wild

Like they used to go wild 

He’s in on the joke

It’s all good

just don’t let him choke

It’s all good

Simple times

Nobody’s in your way, boy

Complex times

Crash down to the floor and 

Nobody was fighting you, boy

Harvard-entry like omg boi

Bouquets on the ground like omg boy

Lilac and Lilet and St Germain type of shit with some Moët, boy

Yeah I really came up, boy

Do you remember when I couldn’t get a job scooping ice cream, boy?

Those days seem so far away, boy

I remember you doubting me, boy

I remember doubting me more

You blew smoke rings at me, boy

How badly did you even want the light, boy?

working at the church, boy

Was it for the money, boy?

I knew you well.

I knew you well, boy

Now that you’re singing my praises

How hollow it rings to me, boy, like tubular bells

How shallow your compliments feel to me, boy, like lillies

Oh boy

Yeah you really fucked me up boy

But I can’t complain, boy

No, I can’t complain, boy

Cause I really came up, boy

I’ve had some real nice Ivy League boys start to date me

No TLC, but they called me cool, called me

sexy, called me crazy

and every one of them who said I wouldn’t

make it can drive by my house in the Hollywood Hills if they’re still hating

and if I’ve got time for the wasting, I’ll give em this statement:

I’m unreasonable.

cause you can’t reason with a beast like me

I’ve tried, trust me.

my dear friend rides her bike downtown without a

helmet

like Jay said: life comes in cycles, you just can’t help it

and if you’re out there listening, clutching

your pearl necklace,

thinking she’ll clutch them gates before too

long if she stay reckless,

you don’t know her like that, sis

she’s unreasonable

you can’t reason with a queen like her

it don’t apply,

you heard?

I don’t know you well

but I can already tell

that you’re unreasonable, too

You see I’ve never felts this pretty in my life

I’m just trying to keep from breaking hearts in the night

Low-key in the back of my mind I see you, Oliver, reading me a book in your arms as I’m falling asleep

I kiss a new boy everyday at least

My body is electric and it’s frankly embarrassing

My mind is powerful but it cannot count any sheep

Or on anyone else it would seem though I hate
to say it 

I know you feel me

So hand me the bottle babe

I want to be the one that you sip on instead

Of making stories up

Hey

I know he hurt you

But don’t feel guilty for being a Free. Ass. Bitch.

Hey, hand me your bottle babe

Want you to be the one that I put in my head

Instead of all these stories

Hey

You know he hurt me

I don’t feel guilty for being a Free. Ass. Bitch.

Free Ass Bitch (x4)

You see I’ve never felt so hollow in my life

They say you cannot get it wrong but something isn’t right 

I never settle, just stay loose in the saddle

It’s desert fire season in my land and in my heart

Can you put it out for me now?

I know it’s hard to believe that love will come to you after all that happened

Trust me you’ll know it when

I've been on my best behavior, loving my neighbor

so why's that make me feel like a miserable failure?

You were my savior, tamed my lesser nature

I know I should be grateful

And everyone's a critic, they'll tell you where to stick it

Listen: I can take it, Lord knows I can take it well

But even I got limits when you're giving me the business

It gets to a place where I can't tell who I am anymore

I want my flaws back! Oh where'd you hide 'em at?                 

They were the best friends that I ever had                

I want my claws back; you got them to retract

I got a soft paw now when you attack

And still you ask why I've been so down          

Think I've figured it out now: I want my flaws back

I get shit for what I say, shit for what I don't

Hell, I'd throw away my throat if I though that you'd let up

You say you do it all for me, well honestly that's awful sweet

But something's still bothering me, see

I got a shadow, sometimes it likes to hide out

But baby don't you be afraid cause it will lead you to my light

I won't be apologetic, won't try to forget it

I won't pasteurize or surgically modify

You had the best intentions

Your love is like an ocean

And I'm a bomb ticking in it slowly

I want my flaws back! Oh where'd you hide 'em at?

I gotta save 'em for somebody who would want them bad

I want my claws back! You got 'em to retract

I got a soft paw now when you attack

And still you ask why I've been so down

Think I've figured it out now: I want my flaws back

You’ve got that thing that I ain’t seen before

You got a heart full of gold

And that’s really turning me on

You are making my life much greener

Now I can paint a picture

Just say you feel the way that I feel

I’m feeling sexual so we should be sexual 

Thank my lucky stars like I made a wish

Crossing all this shit off my bucket list

I don't got a lot but I still feel rich

I might get a lot but I'll never switch

Sticks and stones won't make me bleed

Lift me up, no gravity

Windows open, I can breathe

I'm going so fast

90 degrees, not a cloud in sight

Feels like I'll never see December

It's so hot it's like

Living in a never-ending summer

I wanna keep living like we'll never die

Too far, too far

It could all get way too cheerful, now

I’ve got a fever above my waist

I got my fuzz all tipped to play

Concertina, concertina a chill that bends

This I swear, you’re the fiercest calm I’ve been in

Foreigner, hold me up

Met you in the night, lower east side

Owning up, told me it was your wedding night

We were both high

We don't need explanations tonight

We don't no expectations tonight

So we should be sexual

I’m feeling sexual

You’re feeling sexual

Woke up so late in the day, baby, I'm still faded (met in SoHo)

Was I in a dream on your balcony dancing naked?

I pick my clothes up, I hope you had your phone off

You know how people talk excuses

Why you fucked her over?

That's foreign

Tell me something sweet about you

Say you won't lie

Feel the city all around us, where we both hide

Don't wanna look up into those eyes

Since you'll only stay here this one night